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One out of four females is sexually abused by the time she reaches
tIhe age of 18. About 75 percent of the perpetrators are family members. It is real and not uncommon. . Children of every race,
religion and economic status are abused and victims of incest.. The effects of incest don't stop when the abuse stops. There
are often maybe long term effects of incest which follow the victim throughout his or her life. Some efffects are lack
of confidence, self destruction, self hatred, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, eating disorders, the inability to trust and suicide .
Children
often are forced into silence
Many times a child does not disclose the abuse. Prehaps the
child does not feel he or she can. Prehaps the child is in fear for him or her self or another family member
or even a pet. It is known that children are often threatened. A child might fear the loss of love if it is known.
The child might think it is normal or his or her duty. We don't know all the reasons but we do know that to disclose
abuse is very difficult and for a child to disclose sexual abuse extremely difficult. Many times a small child does
not even know what was really done. Tthe child might don't
want to cause problems. the other parent might have even told the child to be quiet. When a child does find the courage to speak up or
a young child unknowingly says something which alarms the other parent and a report is made, the child is often considered
to be inaccurate, a liar or just too young to be able to testify. The abuser denies it and the case is dropped.
When the parents are separated, the child might end up in the custody of the molesting parent .It is important for a disclosure to be heard respectfully and to be believed. To be
victimized and than not believe is devastating and never more devastating than a rape victim reporting a rape or multiple
rapes and than being forced by the court to live with the rapist unsupervise and to have the one supportive and loving person
forcibly removed from contacting the victim is beyond belief. Yes, beyond belief but not so. It happens all over the USA today in court room around our country. Our country with
inalienable rights of the citizens. I ask, is a child not a citizen? Is a child not a person? Is a
child not important?
Sexual abuse includes:
 | sexual
touching and fondling |
| | exposing
children to adult sexual activity, including pornographic movies and photographs |
| | having
children pose, undress or perform in a sexual fashion on film or in person |
| | "peeping"
into bathrooms or bedrooms to spy on a child |
| | rape
or attempted rape |
|
. The abuse often begins gradually and increases over time. The use of physical force is rarely necessary to engage
a child in sexual activity because children are trusting and dependent. They want to please others and gain love and approval.
Children are taught not to question authority and they believe that adults are always right. Perpetrators of child sexual
abuse know this and take advantage of these vulnerabilities in children. Sexual abuse is an abuse of power over a child and
a violation of a child's right to normal, healthy, trusting relationships.
Signs
of Sexual Abuse
| Depression |
| | Eating
Disorders |
| | Sleep
disturbances |
| | Nightmares |
| | Physical
complaints |
| | School
problems |
| | Withdrawal
from family, friends, or usual activities |
| | Excessive
bathing or poor hygiene |
| | Anxiety |
| | Running
away |
| | Passive
or overly pleasing behavior |
| | Low
self-esteem |
| | Self-destructive
behavior |
| | Anger |
| | Drug
or alcohol problems |
| | Sexual
activity or pregnancy at an early age; promiscuity |
| | Suicide attempts |
|
Characteristics and behavioral
indicators of adults who molest children When
most people imagine a child molester, they picture some ugly, old man in a trench coat coaxing
children to come to him in exchange for some candy. They don't picture Uncle Joe or Aunt
Lorraine, the neighbor next door, the friendly parishioner, another family member, or trusted
co-worker. They don't think of mom or dad, or in the case of single parents their significant
other. This misconception has been effectively dispelled through information obtained
in thousands of child sexual abuse investigations over the years. Child molesters come from
all walks of life and from all socioeconomic groups. They can be male or female, rich or poor,
employed or unemployed, religious or non-religious or from any race. Children can be molested
by persons they don't know, relatives, friends or caregivers. Both men
and women molest children, although the majority of those identified, and prosecuted for
a sex offense, are men. Adults who molest children can generally be divided into two groups, according to their behaviors. A small percentage may suffer from a lifelong exclusive attraction to children and have little or no emotional interest in adult partners. The majority are
not exclusively attracted to children, have adult emotional relationships,
and have not molested multiple child victims. Also, adults who molest children
of their same gender (i.e. an adult male who molests a boy) are not necessarily
homosexual. The widespread misconception that child molestation consists solely
of children being seized from the street and forcibly molested couldn't
be further from the truth. Although these incidents do occur, the vast majority
of child molesters are adults who seduce children through subtle intimidation
and persuasion and are known to the child. The child molester who is not known
by the victim may use a variety of methods to gain access or to gain the confidence
of the victim. He may use force, fear, bribery or tricks. He may pretend or
appear to be friendly and trustworthy. Often he gains access to children in public places, such as playgrounds, parks or shopping malls. Through the experience
of law enforcement investigators, treatment providers, and research, some
common behavioral indicators have been identified and are described below. Behavioral Indicators of Men or Women Who Have Molested Children CAUTION: Some people who have
molested, or plan to molest, a child exhibit no observable behavior pattern that
would be a clue to their future actions. 1. Most often an adult male, however,
adolescents and women also molest children. 2. Is usually married. A small
number never marry and maintain a lifelong sexual and emotional interest in
children. 3. May relate better to children than adults and may feel more comfortable
with children and their interests. 4.
May have few close adult friends. 5. Usually prefers children in a specific
age group. 6. Usually prefers one gender over the other, however, some are
bisexual in their preference. 7.
May seek employment or volunteer opportunities with programs involving children in the preferred
victim age group for this type of offender. 8. Pursues children for sexual
purposes and may feel emotionally attached to the extent that emotional needs
are met by engaging in relationships with children. Example: An adult man
spends time with neighbor children or relatives and talks at length about his feelings for
them or his own feelings of loneliness or loss in order to get the child's sympathy. 9.
Photographs or collects photographs of their victims, dressed, nude or involved in sexual acts. 10. May collect child erotica and child-adult pornography
which may be used in the following ways: no observable behavior pattern that would be a clue to their future actions. 1. Most often an adult male, however, adolescents and women also molest children. 2. Is usually married. A small number never marry and maintain a lifelong sexual and emotional interest in children. 3. May relate better to children
than adults and may feel more comfortable with children and their interests. 4. May have few close adult friends. 5.
Usually prefers children in a specific age group. 6. Usually prefers one gender
over the other, however, some are bisexual in their preference. 7. May seek employment or volunteer opportunities with programs involving children in the preferred victim age group for this type of offender. 8.
Pursues children for sexual purposes and may feel emotionally attached to the extent that emotional needs are met by engaging in relationships with children. Example: An adult man spends time with neighbor children or relatives and talks at length about his feelings for them or his own feelings of loneliness or loss in order to get the child's sympathy. 9. Photographs or collects photographs of their victims, dressed, nude or involved in sexual acts. 10. May collect child erotica and
child-adult pornography which may be used in the following ways: Some people who have molested, or plan to molest, a child exhibit no observable behavior pattern that would be a clue to their future actions. 1. Most often an adult male, however, adolescents and women also molest children. 2. Is usually married. A small number never marry and maintain a lifelong sexual and emotional interest in children. 3. May relate better to children
than adults and may feel more comfortable with children and their interests. 4. May have few close adult friends. 5.
Usually prefers children in a specific age group. 6. Usually prefers one gender
over the other, however, some are bisexual in their preference. 7. May seek employment or volunteer opportunities with programs involving children in the preferred victim age group for this type of offender. 8.
Pursues children for sexual purposes and may feel emotionally attached to the extent that emotional needs are met by engaging in relationships with children. Example: An adult man spends time with neighbor children or relatives and talks at length about his feelings for them or his own feelings of loneliness or loss in order to get the child's sympathy. 9. Photographs or collects photographs of their victims, dressed, nude or involved in sexual acts. 10. May collect child erotica and
child-adult pornography which may be used in the following ways: • To
lower the inhibitions of victims. To lower
the inhibitions of victims. • To fantasize when no potential victim is available. To fantasize when no potential victim is available. • To relive past sexual activities. To
relive past sexual activities. • To justify their inappropriate sexual activities. To justify their inappropriate sexual activities. • To blackmail victims to keep them from telling. 11. May possess
alcohol or narcotics and furnish them to their victims to lower inhibitions or gain
favor. 12. Talks with children in ways that equalize their relationship. 13. May talk about children in the same manner as one would talk about an adult lover or partner. 14. May seek out organizations
(such as National Association of Men-Boy Love/NAMBLA) and publications that
support his sexual beliefs and practices. 15. May offer to baby-sit or take
children on trips in order to manipulate situations to sleep with or near
children or bathe or dress them. 16. May be seen at parks, playgrounds or
places frequented by children or teenagers. 11. May possess alcohol
or narcotics and furnish them to their victims to lower inhibitions or gain
favor. 12. Talks with children in ways that equalize their relationship. 13. May talk about children in the same manner as one would talk about an adult lover or partner. 14. May seek out organizations
(such as National Association of Men-Boy Love/NAMBLA) and publications that
support his sexual beliefs and practices. 15. May offer to baby-sit or take
children on trips in order to manipulate situations to sleep with or near
children or bathe or dress them. 16. May be seen at parks, playgrounds or
places frequented by children or teenagers. To
blackmail victims to keep them from telling. 11. May possess alcohol or narcotics
and furnish them to their victims to lower inhibitions or gain favor. 12. Talks with children in ways that equalize their relationship. 13. May talk about children in the same manner as one would talk about an adult lover or partner. 14. May seek out organizations (such as National
Association of Men-Boy Love/NAMBLA) and publications that support his sexual
beliefs and practices. 15. May offer to baby-sit or take children on trips
in order to manipulate situations to sleep with or near children or bathe
or dress them. 16. May be seen at parks, playgrounds or places frequented
by children or teenagers. Intrafamilial
Child Abuse The incestuous or
intrafamilial molester is usually an adult male (father, stepfather, grandfather or
live-in boyfriend of the mother), however, mothers or other female caregivers also sexually abuse children. The molestation is usually secretive and is sometimes accomplished through misuse of power, mental duress, bribes, tricks or misuse of parental role under the guise of sex education and threats. Common threats may
include: that the child would be removed from the family if they do not succumb
to the offender’s wishes; that they would be blamed for hurting the family if the offender
is arrested; that a sibling would be sexually abused if the victim does not consent. Often the offender will portray act needy or emotionally distraught as a result of marital problems, thereby needing the attention of the victim. The
molestation usually occurs over an extended period of time, occasionally into the victim's adulthood. Through intimidation, the child is made to feel responsible for the molestation and for keeping the acts secret. This secret is normally kept between the offender and the victim,
or within the immediate family. There
are many situations where a family with children can be vulnerable, such as single parent families where the parent has a full time job and is attempting to fulfill the role of both parents as well as run the household or in situations where family conflicts leave a child feeling
alienated or abandoned. Some male offenders seek out mothers who are single
parents for the purpose of victimizing their children. In these cases, he
may have a genuine attraction to the mother and the hidden agenda of pursuit
of the children as victims. Children from all types of families can be vulnerable
to child molesters. Any child whose needs for attention or affection are not
being met can be particularly vulnerable. It is important to remember, however,
that because adults have power over children, any child can be at risk. Talking to Your Children Because offenders get their power through secrecy the single most effective means of protecting your child is communication with your child. They have to feel comfortable discussing sensitive matters with you. If they feel they can talk with you about their true feelings and that
they will be not 'put down' for it, then they will be more likely
to tell you when they are put in an uncomfortable situation by a child molester.
Also, children need to know that there are many adults who can help if they
have a problem. This and other safety
information is available from the following organizations. Please share this information
with your family and friends. Jacob Wetterling
Foundation www.jwf.org 1-800-325-HOPE www.jwf.org 1-800-325-HOPE National Center for Missing and Exploited Children www.missingkids.com 1-800-THE-LOST www.missingkids.com 1-800-THE-LOST
Stop It Now! Minnesota www.stopitnow.com/mn
651-644-8515 stopitnowmn@projectpathfinder.org stopitnowmn@projectpathfinder.org www.stopitnow.com/mn
651-644-8515 stopitnowmn@projectpathfinder.org
Baptist on Incest
Sin and
the sanctity of human life
 In Leviticus 18, God clearly states his hatred of incest. He points out that incestuous relationships typified the degradation
of the societies God was driving out before the Israelites and actually defiled the very land they lived in. Israelites who
practiced incest were to be cut off from their people. The Apostle Paul in his letter to a New Testament church (1 Corinthians
5) presents a parallel idea. The brother involved in an incestuous affair was to be handed over to Satan - cut off from the
church until he truly repented.
According to the same Mosaic law, the raping of a married or engaged woman was punishable by
death. (God does not, however condemn the woman who is truly innocent - the one who cries out to no avail, Deuteronomy 22:23-27.)
If an unmarried woman was raped, the man was to marry her and provide for her as long as he lived (Deut. 22:28-29).
Clearly, God detests rape and incest, as well as any other form of sexual immorality. Yet nowhere
does He condemn the offspring of sexual immorality.4 Rather, they are the recipients of blessing. Moab and Ben-ammi,
the sons of Lot and his daughters, grew into mighty nations. Perez, the son of Judah and his daughter-in-law, stands in the
blessing on Ruth and in the genealogy of Christ. In fact, God stresses the principle that "Fathers shall not be put to death
for their children, nor children put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sin" (Deut. 24:16). |
Catholics on Incest
Incest
(Latin in, not, and castus, chaste).
Incest is sexual intercourse between those who are related by blood or marriage.
Its specific malice is contracted by such unlawful commerce between those related within
the fourth degree of consanguinity or affinity, as computed by canonists. The guilt is incurred not only by those sinful acts which are, as theologians say, fully consummated, but also by incomplete acts.
The particular deformity of incest comes not merely from the violation of the virtue of chastity, but also from the offence against the mingled affection and reverence with which parents and, proportionately, other relatives should be regarded.
It is certain that this crime has its distinctive enormity from the prohibition of the natural law, where there is question of the first degree in the direct line, for instance, between
parents and children. For the other degrees it is probable that recourse must be had to the ecclesiastical
law which invalidates marriage within those limits.
It is commonly held, with regard to those related by consanguinity or affinity, that with the exception of the first degree in the direct line all forms of incest are,
morally speaking, of the same species, and therefore for the integrity of confession there is no necessity to distinguish between them. It must be noted, however, that carnal sins between those who are spiritually or legally related within the degrees that would render their marriage invalid, are separate species of incest.
A decree of the Holy Office, 25 June, 1885, declares that in applications for matrimonial dispensations it is no longer necessary to make mention of the circumstance of incest relations between the petitioners.
Jewish Views Incest
The Awareness Center, Inc.
Common Symptoms of Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
© (1994) Victoria Polin, MA, ATR, LCPC and Gail Roy, MA, ATR, LCPC
1. Low self-esteem, feeling worthless.
2. Fear of abandonment and other abandonment issues.
3. Acting out behavior. Not knowing how to identify, process and or express
intense feelings in more productive ways.
4. Unexplained fears of being alone at night, nightmares and/or night terrors.
. .
5. Feeling overly grateful/appreciative from small favors by others.
6. Boundary issues: lack of, needing to be in control, power issues, fear
of losing control...
7. Eating disorders including: anorexia, bulimia, compulsive over-eating
etc...
8. Headaches, arthritis and/or joint pain, gynecological disorders, stomach
aches and other somatic symptomology.
9. Unexplained anxiety/panic, when with individuals from childhood.
10. Extreme guilt/shame.
11. Obsessive/compulsive behaviors (not necessarily Obsessive/Compulsive
Disorder).
12. History of being involved in emotionally, psychological and/or physically
violent relationships(emotionally,
physically).
13. Memories of domestic violence in childhood.
14. Sexual acting out, "sexaholism", history of prostitution, performing
in porn films...
15. Distorted body image/poor body image.
16. Hypervigilance.
17. History of ambivalent or intensely conflictive relationships.
18. Depersonalization. Feeling oneself to be unreal and everyone else to
be real (or vice versa).
19. Blocking out periods of one's life (usually ages 1-12) or a specific
person or place.
20. History of multi-victimizations in other forms.
21. Extremely high or low risk taking.
22. Obsession with suicide at various times of the year or after triggering
events.
23. Wearing layers of clothing, even in the summer - caused by body image
issues.
24. Intense anxiety and/or avoidance of gynecological exams.
25. Unexplained fears of suffocation.
The Awareness Center is the Jewish Coalition Against Sexu al Abuse/Assault (JCASA)
Rape & Incest:
Islamic Perspective
Uzma Mazhar
Incest and rape are not new in this day and age; these problems have always
existed and will continue to exist if not confronted face on. If you have ever worked with an incest, sexual
abuse or rape survivor you will never be able to forget the devastating impact it has on all aspects of their life, nor will
you be able to sit back and do nothing about this issue. These are serious crimes that corrode the fabric
of family and society and cannot go un-addressed, since these problems do exist in Muslim families it is about time that we
address it openly and take action to put an end to it.
To fully understand this issue we need to examine what Islām teaches us about the
value of human life
Islām views human life as a sacred gift from God. The Qur’ān repeatedly
stresses the sanctity of life (hurmat al hayat). The life of every single individual regardless of gender, age, nationality
or religion is worthy of respect. In verses referring to the sanctity of life, the term used is ‘nafs’
(soul, life); and there is no distinction made in that soul being young or old, male or female, Muslim or non-muslim.
Sūrah al An'am 6.151:
"Do not take
any human being's life, (the life) which God has declared to be sacred - otherwise than in (the pursuit of) justice: this
has He enjoined upon you so that you might use your reason."
(Also check: Sūrah al Isra 17.33 & Sūrah al Ma'idah 5.32
Qur’ānic teachings encompass every aspect of life; hence it does not limit
the definition of life to the physical body only, but includes the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects as well.
There are about 150 verses that define the term ‘nafs’ in various ways making it clear that the concept
of ‘life’ is not limited to mere physical existence
Historically, Islam has addressed serious issues openly and sought to correct actions
that constitute harm or ‘zulm’ (ie: cruelty and abuse) to the dignity of humankind. Human life
and respect for it has been stressed unstintingly, regardless of age or gender. As a general rule, Islām
forbids all ‘zulm’, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual
Sūrah al An'am 6.120
”Abandon all harm (ithm), whether committed openly
or in secret.”
(Check Sūrah al A`raf 7:33)
Sūrah al 49:11-12 points out categorically that emotionally abusive language and
behavior is not acceptable.
"You who believe do not let one (set of) people make fun of another set. Do not defame one
another. Do not insult by using nicknames. And do not backbite or speak ill of one another."
In the last address to his community, the Prophet (saw) said: "Your lives and
properties are forbidden to one another till you meet your Lord on the Day of Resurrection… Regard the life and property
of every Muslim as a sacred trust… Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you... You will neither inflict nor suffer any
inequity." The Prophet (saw) did not prohibit only the unlawful encroachment of one another’s life
and property, but also honor and respect.
Considering that human life is to be
valued and cruelty is forbidden, what is the Islamic perspective on incest and rape?
According to Islām, a woman has to be respected and protected under all circumstances,
whether she belongs to your own nation or to the nation of an enemy, whether she follows your religion or belongs to some
other religion or has no religion at all. A Muslim cannot outrage her under any circumstances.
All promiscuous relationships have been forbidden to him, irrespective of the status or position of the woman, whether
the woman is a willing or an unwilling partner to the act. The words of the Holy Qur’ān in this respect are: "Do not
approach (the bounds of) adultery" (17:32). Heavy punishment has been prescribed for this crime, and the order has not been
qualified by any conditions. Since the violation of chastity of a woman is forbidden in Islam, a Muslim who perpetrates this
crime cannot escape punishment. (Maudoodi)
The Quran has, in various ways and in different contexts; impressed on men
that they must observe the limits set by God (Hudūd Allah) in respect to women and must not encroach upon their rights in
either marriage or divorce. In all situations it is the men who are reminded, corrected and reprimanded, over and over again,
to be generous to women and to be kind, compassionate, fair and just in their dealings with women. Even
in divorce, when the chances of anger and vindictiveness are high, it is stressed that men are to separate with grace, equity
and generosity and women is apparent from rulings against female infanticide and rights of
inheritance given even to an unborn child; and the kindness mandated even when divorcing your wife. There
are numerous ahādīth about the rights of children to respect and dignity. The same holds true for respect
and the unprecedented rights given to women.
Relevant verses from the Quran:
Sūrah an Nās 4.119
'O you who believe! You
are forbidden to inherit women against their will...'
Sūrah an Nūr 24.33
'... And do not, in order to gain some of the fleeting pleasures
of this worldly life, coerce your slave women into whoredom if they are desirous of marriage, and if anyone should coerce
them, then, verily, after they have been compelled (to submit in their helplessness), God will be much forgiving, a dispenser
of grace (to them).
During the time of the Prophet (saw) punishment was inflicted on the rapist on the
solitary evidence of the woman who was raped by him. Wa'il ibn Hujr reports of an incident when a woman
was raped. Later, when some people came by, she identified and accused the man of raping her.
They seized him and brought him to Allah's messenger, who said to the woman, "Go away, for Allāh has forgiven you,"
but of the man who had raped her, he said, "Stone him to death." (Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud)
During the time when Umar (raa) was the Khalifah, a woman accused his son Abu
Shahmah of raping her; she brought the infant borne of this incident with her to the mosque and publicly spoke about what
had happened. Umar (raa) asked his son who acknowledged committing the crime and was duly punished right
there and then. There was no punishment given to the woman. Islamic legal
scholars interpret rape as a crime in the category of Hiraba. In ‘Fiqh-us-Sunnah’, hiraba is
described as: ‘a single person or group of people causing public disruption, killing, forcibly taking property or money,
attacking or raping women (hatk al ‘arad), killing cattle, or disrupting agriculture.
The famous jurist, Ibn Hazm, had the widest definition of hiraba, defining
a hiraba offender as: ‘One who puts people in fear on the road, whether or not with a weapon, at night or day, in urban
areas or in open spaces, in the palace of a caliph or a mosque, with or without accomplices, in the desert or in the village,
in a large or small city, with one or more people… making people fear that they’ll be killed, or have money taken,
or be raped (hatk al ‘arad)… whether the attackers are one or manyAl-Dasuqi held
that if a person forced a woman to have sex, his actions would be deemed as committing hiraba. In addition, the Maliki judge
Ibn ‘Arabi, relates a story in which a group was attacked and a woman in their party was raped. Responding to
the argument that the crime did not constitute hiraba because no money was taken and no weapons used, Ibn ‘Arabi replied
indignantly that "hiraba with the private parts" is much worse than hiraba involving the taking of money, and that anyone
would rather be subjected to the latter than the former
The crime of rape is classified not as a subcategory of ‘zina’
(consensual adultery), but rather as a separate crime of violence under hiraba. This classification is logical, as the "taking"
is of the victim’s property (the rape victim’s sexual autonomy) by force. In Islam, sexual autonomy and pleasure
is a fundamental right for both women and men (Ghazālī); taking by force someone’s right to control the sexual activity
of one’s body is thus a form of hiraba.
Rape as hiraba is a violent crime that uses sexual intercourse as a weapon. The focus
in a hiraba prosecution is the accused rapist and his intent and physical actions, and not second-guessing the consent of
the rape victim. Hiraba does not require four witnesses to prove the offense, circumstantial evidence,
medical data and expert testimony form the evidence used to prosecute such crimes.
Islamic legal responses to rape are not limited to a criminal prosecution for hiraba.
Islamic jurisprudence also provides an avenue for civil redress for a rape survivor in its law of "jirah" (wounds). Islamic
law designates ownership rights to each part of one’s body, and a right to corresponding compensation for any harm done
unlawfully to any of those parts. Islamic law calls this the ‘law of jirah’ (wounds). Harm to a sexual organ,
therefore, entitles the person harmed to appropriate financial compensation under classical Islamic jirah jurisprudence. Each
school of Islamic law has held that where a woman is harmed through sexual intercourse (some include marital intercourse),
she is entitled to financial compensation for the harm. Further, where this intercourse was without the consent of the woman,
the perpetrator must pay the woman both the basic compensation for the harm, as well as an additional amount based on the
‘diyya’ (financial compensation for murder, akin to a wrongful death payment).
Islamic law, with its radical introduction of a woman’s right to own property
as a fundamental right, employs a gender-egalitarian attitude in this area of jurisprudence. In fact, there is a hadith specifically
directed to transforming the early Muslim population out of this patriarchal attitude of male financial compensation for female
sexual activity. During the time of Prophet Muhammad, a young man committed zina with his employer’s wife. The father
of the young man gave one hundred goats and a maid as compensation to the employer, who accepted it. When the case was reported
to the Prophet, he ordered the return of the goats and the maid to the young man’s father and prosecuted the adulterer
for zina (Abu Daud 1990, 3: Bk. 33, No. 4430; Bukhāri 1985, 8:Bk. 81, Nos. 815, 821, 826).
Early Islam thus established that there should be no tolerance of the attitude
that a woman’s sexual activity is something to be bartered, pawned, gossiped about, or owned by the men in her life.
Personal responsibility of every human being for their own actions is a fundamental principle in Islamic thought.
Marital Rape
The Quran is very clear that the basis of a marital
relationship is love and affection between the spouses, not power or control. Rape is unacceptable in such a relationship.
Sūrah al Baqarah 2.223
'Your wives are your tilth; go then unto your tilth
as you may desire, but first provide something for your souls*, and remain conscious of God, and know that your are destined
to meet Him...'
* Note in Muhammad Asad's translation: 'a spiritual relationship between man and woman is postulated as
the indispensable basis of sexual relations.'
Sūrah ar Rum 30.21
"And among His wonders is this: He creates for you mates out
of your own kind, so that your might incline towards then, and He engenders love and tenderness between you: in this, behold,
there are messages indeed for people who think!
Sūrah al Baqarah 2.187
"... They are as a garment for you, and you are as a garment
for them."
Sūrah al Nisa 4.19
"... And consort with your wives in a goodly manner, for if
you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something which God might yet make a source of abundant good."
"Is there recognition of marital rape in Islam?
In the context of jirah, it would
appear so: where there is any physical harm or disease caused to a spouse, there may be a claim for jirah compensation. The
law of jirah provides for compensation for physical harm between spouses, and supports Islamic legislation against domestic
abuse. Even in these discussions of appropriate jirah compensation, the question of the injured party’s
consent plays a central role. Some Islamic jurists considered consent to be presumed by virtue of the marital relationship,
while others maintain that where harm occurs, it is an assault, regardless of the consent, and therefore compensation is due.
In our modern era, one might take these precedents and their premium focus on consent and apply the Islamic principle of sexual
autonomy to conclude that any sex without consent is harmful, as a dishonoring of the unwilling party’s sexual autonomy.
Thus, modern Islamic jurists and legislators, taking a gender-egalitarian perspective, might conclude that Islamic law does
recognize marital rape, and assign the appropriate injunctions and compensation for this personally devastating harm." (Qureshi)
An often misquoted and abused hadith that is used to tyrannize women is that
women cannot and should not say no to their husband when he approaches them Women are advised not to turn away from
their husbands except if they have their period or any other reasonable excuse. So much so that she is
to break her voluntary fast if her husband approaches her. And if they do angels will curse them. However, this
hadith is not quoted with the complementary one that advises men of the same consideration.
In the same manner men are advised that meeting the needs of their wives
takes precedence over voluntary worship. Narrated Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-As: "Prophet Muhammad (saw) said,
“O Abdullah! I have been informed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?” I said, ‘Yes,
O Allah's Apostle!’ He said, “Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them at other times, stand
up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you and your wife has a right over you.”
(Bukhāri)
To a certain degree these ahādīth are used to confuse and distract from the
issue, since rape does not have anything to do with permission or lack of permission. In a marriage abusive or forced
sexual activity cannot be justified by abusing this hadith. Rape is defined as unwanted, violent and forced sex, whether
this occurs in a marital context or outside it. The definition of rape does not change because of the relationship.
It is important to not confuse the issue of mutual rights that a couple
has on each other with the misguided, distorted and misogynist assumption that women become a husband's property. Islam
does not allow for or tolerate ownership of human beings. Human dignity does not
allow that any one person has the right to own, mind/body/soul, another human being... and Islam demands that all human beings
respect the humanity of everyone.
Incest & Child Abuse
The
Quran clearly outlines those with whom marriage is not permitted, we can extrapolate from it that any sexual relation with
these would be unacceptable.
Sūrah an Nisa 4:23:
Prohibited for you (in marriage) are your mothers, your
daughters, your sisters, the sisters of your fathers, the sisters of your mothers, the daughters of your brother, the daughters
of your sister, your nursing mothers, the girls who nursed from the same woman as you, the mothers of your wives, the daughters
of your wives with whom you have consummated the marriage - if the marriage has not been consummated, you may marry the daughter.
Also prohibited for you are the women who were married to your genetic sons. Also, you shall not be married to two sisters
at the same time - but do not break up existing marriages. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
This includes your foster parents, siblings and children.
Al Hasan reports: ‘If somebody commits illegal intercourse with his sister,
his punishment is the same as for any other person who commits such a crime’. (Bukhāri Vol. 8 pp 526)
Thus, these same laws mentioned above in cases of rape would be equally applicable,
and incest can be prosecuted as a crime within the bounds of Islamic law.
According to Islam, all aspects of life, ie: the physical, mental, emotional
and spiritual, are sacred and must be respected. No gender or relationship has been given the power or
right to hurt or harm the other. Domestic violence, rape and incest are all violent and criminal abuses that are outside the
bounds of what is permitted in Islam and there is absolutely no justification for it whatsoever.
References:
-Ghazālī;
“Ihya Ulum ud Din”
-Hasan, Riffat; “Religious Human Rights in Global Perspective: Religious Perspectives”
John Witte, Jr. and Johan D. van der Vyver Eds. Martinus Nijhoff Publishers, 1996
-Maudoodi, Abu al
Ala; “Human Rights in Islam” The Islamic Foundation UK 1976, 1993
-Qureshi,
Asifa LLM; “Her Honor: An Islamic Critique of the Rape Laws of Pakistan from a Woman-Sensitive Perspective”
-Rahman,
Afzal ur; "Role of Muslim Women in Society" Seerah Foundation, London, 1986
-Rauf, Muhammad Abdul;
“Umar al Faruq” Al Saadawi Publications, 1998
Abridged version of article published in the September issue of 'Islāmic
Reflections 2002'
Contact Info: UzmaMazhar@hotmail.com |
Let Us ABHOR What Is Wicked
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